Hi Stinky-
My husband and I are nine years apart as well, adds one more wrinkle into the mix when starting a family, doesn't it?
First of all, good for you for putting some thought into your future and for thinking ahead before making any life-changing decisions. I applaud your ability to lay out your situation logically, and then attempt to fit your decisions into your long-term goals and plans. This is a great first step toward planning a family and still achieving your educational and financial goals. My best advice for you is to weigh all of the evidence, come to a decision, go for it, and then take your carefully considered and structured plan, crumple it up into a ball, and try for two points in the trash can in the corner of the room! :)
Just kidding. Sort of. You can achieve everything you want for yourself and your family, no question. You can have a child, go to college, work and have a successful marriage all at once. I am working on a post graduate degree right now, have two children, a demanding job and a great husband. I remember tackling these same issues before we had our first child, and I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to achieve, and how I wanted to get there. Now, almost eight years later, I have the things I wanted and am achieving what I set out to do, but I made serious alterations to my original plan, and my goals changed considerably in the years following my original decisions. As my children grew, so did I, and I found that what I wanted 2, 5, even 8 years ago grew and changed with all of us. The fact that I'm not exactly where I thought I would be 8 years ago doesn't matter, because I have found out that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And it's a pretty cool place.
What I'm really saying is that if you weigh all of the options and decide whether or not to have a child, your life will almost certainly not go exactly the way you planned it anyway! Not only will the addition of a child into your lives create a whole new series of choices for you, but you will change in the next several years too--you'll find that your plans and goals will change, and you'll alter your plan accordingly. I once read a great analogy about having children that has always stuck with me. You start your life at the end of a hallway with an endless series of open doors before you, representing all of the experiences possible in your lifetime. Your life is an absolute clean slate, and you can choose any door you like. But with each door you choose, other doors will be closed and locked as a result. No doubt about it, having children closes a lot of doors for you. Never again will you be able to make decisions without considering how they will affect this new human being you're responsible for. You'll never watch any news story again without thinking "What if that were my child?" You can't pick up at a moment's notice and run off to surf in Mexico, or buy a two door car :). But not having children closes an equal number of doors. You'll never see your child look at you and know that you're the most important person in their world. You'll never swell with pride as you watch your children make their own good decisions, or pick them up after they've made bad ones. You'll never learn to love your husband all over again in his role as a father. You just need to pick a door and walk through it.
You'll make the choice you think is right based on all the information you have. And then you'll revisit what you need and want based on what is right you afterwards. Good luck! It's one heck of a ride...
